Moving out of parents to gain independence vs Staying at home to save for a deposit?

[Grimezy]

I've toyed over moving out for about a year now mainly since my mentally ill brother moved back into my parents 2 bedroom house.. After 6 months of a 20 year old sharing a room with a 28 year old working on different sleep patterns we finally 'converted' our house into a 3 bedroom house by getting rid of the Living room and moving it into a tiny box area at the end of a kitchen which is no bigger than 2-3m x 2m (if that). All of us have pretty big bedrooms now but there is absolutely no communal areas and it's like living in a rabbit hutch!

Basically every few months I look on Rightmove and Zoopla and see what it would be like to rent on my own. I did this again last night as my brother is getting on my nerves a bit at the moment and there seems to be a few 'affordable' places in my area at the moment. I came across the old Guardian article while on my search and wondered what you guys thought of it? I appreciated what she was saying at first and it kind of egged me on to want to move out, but then reading the comments she gets absolutely slated as she's from a comfortable family, blah blah.

http://www.theguardian.com/commenti...llen-kick-out-stay-at-home-kids?commentpage=3

What do you think? I'm 20, I have a steady job and come home with about £1200 per month after tax. Currently we have 4 adults in what's meant to be a 2 bedroom house, we're not well off, my parents don't own the house they rent it, they've tried looking at 3 bedroom houses all over but they're either out of budget or won't accept pets (silly me for bringing a kitten home last year, whoops). I pay board and chip in for things like Sky and stuff but I pay much less than what I would renting (it's around £250 p/m I pay at the moment including all food and everything).

So my question is, how many have you moved out for the independence knowing full well that you'd end up broke compared to living at home? How many of you rented and wished you'd milked living at home for as long as possible to save for a deposit? Is it really beneficial to move out to gain independence or is it not all it's cracked up to be? I have a good relationship with my parents but it is very stressful at home and I do still feel like a child at times. Moving out would give my parents more space, less stress for them to move house, would give me a bit of life experience, but I wouldn't have ridiculous amounts of disposable income like I do now. I try and save £400-£500 per month at the moment, would I be crazy to give that up?

Just to add: A bloke a work moved out at 28 when he finally got married and had saved £40k for a deposit, he now has a really nice 3 bedroom house and seems comfortable. But EVERYBODY thinks he's a spoilt brat and didn't have to pay his way at all at home and basically that he's never experienced the real world. Just another reason why moving out now is more tempting... I look at him and don't want to end up being the same..

 

[steaky360]

To be honest, regardless of whatever conversation follows... You are the only one who can answer that question. What others have found unbearable or uncomfortable or not worth it etc. might be something you'd tolerate to get out of your current situation.

I'll end up rambling if I continue, I'm sure people will provide very good reasons for both sides of the argument, at the end of the day, your particular situation is likely to be different and you need to do whats right for you. Even if that does mean waiting till you got a deposit together for a house Then you can be skint for aaages paying it off

 

[SmokeDarKnight]

Hey man,

I would put your name down for a council house, assuming you have such a scheme in england. its a great way to get your first place, rent cheep and see how you get on on your own for a while, at lease then there is no commitment if it doesn't work out whereas if you buy a house and it gets complicated i.e. bills build up or you just dont like it then you can always move back.

The trouble with renting is that its not cheep and you usually end up paying for someones mortgage as the price to rent is almost the same as to pay a mortgage. The trouble is when you rent it becomes more difficult to build up a deposit.

I know in scotland there is first time buyer deals and no deposit deals for first time buyers but i think there is usually a clause that means the manufacturer or the lander owns about 25% of your house when you sell it and you have to pay up when you do sell it.

Im in low rental housing just now but i've been here for about 7 years building up a deposit and am just about in the position now.

Im glad i did it that way though as im now in a stable relationship, away to propose on Friday actually, and having another person paying the way to can make a big difference in what you can obtain.

My advise is council or low cost rent then build up your deposit.

Obviously that's just my opinion and everyone situation is different but thats how i got where i am now.

Hope this helps a bit.

 

[Grimezy]

Cheers Smoke, I'll look into council housing. I think it has been mentioned in the past by my brothers mental health team as by law they can't find us a house for all of us but they could help us all find our own homes? (makes a huge amount of sense)...

Only issue would be the areas... are all council housing estates a bit scummy or does it depend where you are? We have council housing on our new-build estate and the people are a bit rowdy but the houses are the same quality as everybody elses. Was there any restrictions for registering for it i.e. if you earn over a certain salary you aren't eligible?

 

[keynes]

I would stay there, work like a donkey for a few years to save and apply for a joint mortgage with your wife/gf/partner when you are ready. I was forced to live on my own since I was 17 as an international student. The first few years were awful due to my limited budget.

 

[keynes]

away to propose on Friday actually,

I hope she doesn't check the forums, worst proposal ever

 

[ubuysa]

I would stay there, work like a donkey for a few years to save and apply for a joint mortgage with your wife/gf/partner when you are ready. I was forced to live on my own since I was 17 as an international student. The first few years were awful due to my limited budget.

I'm with keynes. Your home-life is awkward, even unpleasant at times, but it could be so much worse. You have a roof over your head, all the facilities you need (Sky etc.) and you're building up a good deposit quite quickly it seems. Think of these times as the price you're paying for living a better life in a few years, and that "price" sounds like it's really just a bit of unpleasantness now and then. When you look back on the sacrifices you made to get where you want to be (as I do now in retirement) you will be so glad you stuck it out.

I woudn't worry about experiencing the real world, that will come whether you want it to or not! In any case, if you can feather-bed your life a little now whilst you save then so much the better.

 

[SmokeDarKnight]

Cheers Smoke, I'll look into council housing. I think it has been mentioned in the past by my brothers mental health team as by law they can't find us a house for all of us but they could help us all find our own homes? (makes a huge amount of sense)...

Only issue would be the areas... are all council housing estates a bit scummy or does it depend where you are? We have council housing on our new-build estate and the people are a bit rowdy but the houses are the same quality as everybody elses. Was there any restrictions for registering for it i.e. if you earn over a certain salary you aren't eligible?

No don't think there's any restrictions anyone can apply for council housing and once you have lived in it for X amount of years you are given the opportunity to buy it if you wanted.

I think a letter from your parents or current landlord can help you up the ladder. I know it sounds harsh but if they send a letter saying your getting kicked our or theres no room for you then you will get bumped up the ladder.

In regards to areas it varies, i think your allowed something like 5 viewings before they put you down the list again so you have to choose a house in the 5 they show you. In the form i think you can pick 3 area's too. But since it is so cheap a lot of people apply and some troublesome family's do move into these type of housing. No harm in trying and having a look though, you have nothing to loose by registering and seeing if they have anything to offer you. If not then its just a thanks bu no thanks.

 

[kruppsy]

I'd be tempted to give it 6 months say, at home (which is nothing in the grand scheme of things) and save like an absolute mad man. See how much you can amass. It may make you think, blimey another 6 months and I'll have £X amount, then review again at the end of the year. This could help you decide if you can/can't put up with being at home for the cost benefits and you will always be able to save more by staying at home. Plus family will give you a hell of a lot more leeway than a Landlord will. This is what I'd do, 6 months at a time and review it, then you can always see the end, makes it less daunting. But as steaky says, you live your life, we can comment but have no real idea what its like for you day to day. Trust your instincts, they aren't often wrong.

And this...

I hope she doesn't check the forums, worst proposal ever

lol!

 

[SmokeDarKnight]

I hope she doesn't check the forums, worst proposal ever

LOL OR THE GREATEST, no embarrassing down on one knee stuff lol.

She knows its coming, she was there when we picked the ring She just thinks its going to be another month on order but i pick it up tomorrow.

 

[Rakk]

Generally I think it really does depend on the situation as to whether you move out or not, obviously you won't save as much by quite a lot.
In your case, having all 4 of you in a house meant for 2 is causing problems (which I'm sure all of us can only imagine the issues), especially since your brothers condition cant be helping things , then it may be worth thinking about - but it will be hard - though you could treat is as a learning experience - it will give you experience in budgeting and making sure you don't go spending it on stuff you don't need

When I left home (about a year after I finished uni), I went and house-shared with some friends from uni, cos house-sharing does make it a lot cheaper, and it helped that I knew them already and we were good friends. So if you have any friends that may be even slightly interested ask them, you never know, they may be having the same problem

 

[Grimezy]

Thanks Rakk, I know a few people who are in similar situations who might be interested but none of them are in very steady jobs or 100% reliable when it comes to money matters! I will give it some thought though.

I think it's a good shout by Kruppsy, I should probably wait it out. We may end up moving to a bigger house soon anyway (hopefully!). I've been trying to buy a better car for ages as well so that would probably go on hold if I moved out.

It's just pretty difficult at the moment, it sounds horrible but we went to Cornwall a few weeks back actually without my brother as he wanted to stay at home and we were in a lovely big cottage all week and I've never felt better or more rested! But saying that I look after me and my brother when my parents go away and it's exhausting coming home from work and doing everything for us both. Admittedly I'm still fairly poorly from Glandular fever 3 years ago but I keep saying to myself if it was my own place and I had my independence I'd feel a lot better than I do while I'm still at home.

 

[kruppsy]

You could do it the other way round of course. Get a 6 month rental agreement, they're quite common. Use it as a taster, warning your family that you may want to move back if it doesn't suit. If you can get somewhere relatively close to home, moving shouldn't be too painful. You'll get to see what you're in for, without the long term commitment. It sounds obvious, but if you do this, really sit down and work out your incomings and outgoings before you sign anything. Make sure you can live, not just exist. 6 months isn't that long but its long enough to get yourself in some serious debt, that's the last thing you want.

 

[Bsrz]

+1 to what Kruppsy said - debt = killer
make sure you are ready to move out, and can keep up with the cost of it, moving out may be the best option for you as a person but not you wallet. and unfortunately in this word your wallet is what allows you to live
I have wanted to move out and live on my own and have considered it a few times before my dad moved out of the house, but I simply could not afford it due to the cost of renting property and bills along side going to college, I couldn't work enough hours to support myself, so for my staying at home was the best option, and things have now worked out I wish you the best of luck in your decision.

 

[Grimezy]

I'm fairly positive I could afford it, although I'm fairly positive I couldn't afford to save any more. That's the penultimate factor really.

Could I afford to live after paying for rent, council tax, bills, food, contents insurance? Yes, I believe I would be able to..

Could I save any money while living like this? Probably not a lot...

Ultimately that's what it's coming down to. Do I think of my future and save or do I go out and live my own life now. I'm in the midlands so I'd be paying £400-£500pcm to rent somewhere on my own plus all bills, food, etc. I'd probably have around £1000 disposable income per month to spend on this so I think it's definitely do-able.

 

[kruppsy]

Whats your long term goal? If its to own a house, then the sooner you can get that deposit saved the better, it gets harder as you get older (Im speaking with the benefit of hindsight here, I didn't save jack when I was younger and really regret it). If you know you'd be happy renting forever, give it a try, only if you're sure you can make ends meet and short term contracts are the key to start off with. Make your family fully aware of your plans/thoughts so there's no suprises on either side. Just my opinion mate, like I said earlier, deep down you'll know what's right for you.

 

[SmokeDarKnight]

We all have to do it at sometime and personally i prefered it being on my terms than creeping up on my for other reasons.

Before you do i would also suggest, and its a long shot, but ask your employer for a pay rise too. I did and luckly got. Its worth a try.

Council Tax you will get a discount if your on your own.

Think of things you could live without. I went without a TV license and just watch everything on demand, its a little amount but its a start.

My house hold bills are

Council Tax: £67 pm Single Person Discount this will vary depending on things like private water supply etc
Electric is: £180 pm Horrible heating in the house this might be high better insulated house and gas supply might give you savings
Broadband + Telephone: £46 pm you get better deals than this
Contents Insurance: £36 py depends on what cover you want.
Plus rent. Probibly the worst bit.

Obviously this differes from home to home but just for an idea.

 

[Rakk]

Council Tax: £67 pm Single Person Discount this will vary depending on things like private water supply etc
Electric is: £180 pm Horrible heating in the house this might be high better insulated house and gas supply might give you savings

I thought council tax was worked out entirely on what the house was worth in whatever year they priced things up - at least in England that's how they do it I think, not sure in Scotland. Single person discount is 25% in England.
Yes, gas heating can be a lot cheaper, my gas+elec is about 45-50 quid a month total, though admittedly I live in the south, but still £180pm is a ridiculous amount!

 

[SmokeDarKnight]

I thought council tax was worked out entirely on what the house was worth in whatever year they priced things up - at least in England that's how they do it I think, not sure in Scotland. Single person discount is 25% in England.
Yes, gas heating can be a lot cheaper, my gas+elec is about 45-50 quid a month total, though admittedly I live in the south, but still £180pm is a ridiculous amount!

Hmm not sure Rakk maybe it is different, in scotland its determined by the number of bedrooms, size of house, predicted waste, private or public water and private or public sewage. At least thats what im lead to beleive for Scotland/ I live on a farm rented property at the moment so its private water and sewage which takes a bit off. Yeah single person discount is 25% here too.

My electricity bill is a pebble in my shoe, its wooden walls so theres about as much as a breeze inside as out at times and my heaters are made up of bricks and take a day to heat up so its not ideal. Think that house was built in the 1930 so its old. I dont spend that in summer its like £50 a month in summer if that but winter really hits hard.

Scotland eh

 

[Grimezy]

Blimey, I have to admit that £180pm for gas+elec shocked me a tad! Is that just because Scotsland is always chilly?

Good to see generally what sort of costs I can be expecting though. The best scenario would be going back to Uni and living away from home I guess but I still haven't decided what I'd like to do and I don't really want to pack work up just to bunk off for 3 years! x)

Good shout on the tv on demand though Smoke, am I right in thinking you still need a tv license to stream tv online? But that it's fine if you're just watching On Demand stuff? I could always go back to my rents for when the footie's on as well! And when I'm craving spongebob..