Moving out... would you suggest it?

[Grimezy]

As most of you know, I often come here for life advice. This isn't because I'm sad and have nowhere else to go. It's because if I go to my parents they will support me no matter what without actually helping me make up my mind, my girlfriend doesn't really have life experience in the things I need help with, and my friends aren't really that helpful if the situation isn't "What's the strongest drink we could buy at the bar?". So basically yea, because I'm sad and have nowhere else to go. Studentroom and Yahoo answers are full of slightly stupid people.

I'm 19 and am currently living at home. I love living at home, it's great, I'm not spoilt, I'm not a free-boarder. I pay my rent, I help out when I need to, and I get on very well with my parents most the time. It's ideal, I go to work Monday-Friday, I get home, I can shower freely, I have good food, etc etc. This was all brilliant until 6 months ago when my 28 year old brother was forced to move back in due to medical issues. Now our house is only about 2 years old so it's quite nice inside but it's only 2 bedroom and we only rent it. As most of you know, houses built nowadays are rather 'cosy' so there isn't much room at all and I've been sharing a room with my brother since he came back.

As much as we've tried to make this work, it's just not any more. His health issues are getting worse and worse and the atmosphere in the house is getting harder to live with. My girlfriend lives 90 miles away so when she visits she visits for a weekend and he becomes unmanageable when she's around. It's like he gets fixated with her which makes me feel very uncomfortable. This isn't the only reason but one of the main ones. I'd also just like to experience the freedom of living on my own even if it is just for a few months till we get a bigger house (the team working with my brother are trying to sort this for us, who knows how long that could be though!)

As some of you may know I posted a thread regarding going to Uni not too long ago. This is still on the table although getting it sorted for this year is looking unlikely. Anyway my boss's partner who I used to work with is a Student Accommodation Manager and she deals with the off-campus properties and landlords. Quite often landlords will come to her with properties that aren't really student-friendly due to location, price, etc and she helps people out who are looking for somewhere to live.

She's found a converted garage annex type thing in a village about 5-6 miles from where I live now. I don't have much information about it yet but from what I know it's a 1 bedroom two-storey conversion (garage doors are still there but you can't actually access the property through these). It's detached from the landlord's house so seems to be fairly private and it's £450 per month included council tax apparently. I haven't seen any photos or know anything more about it yet, all I know is the limited info he's given me and we've had a look on streetview and have an idea of which property it is (it's 1 of 3 that we can see on streetview and they all look nice).

What my questions are to you lovely experienced people is:

1) Would you recommend renting at the age of 19? Is it going to limit my opportunities for the future due to not being able to save effectively? A guy I work with is 30 and he lived at home till he was 28 and managed to save £40k for a deposit and now has a nice 3 bedroom house, married, BMW, etc. I feel if I rent somewhere I might be reducing my chances of being a homeowner in future (although from what I've read online, being a homeowner seems to be becoming less popular even out of choice).

2) What should I really be budgeting for? I'm fairly good with my money and know that there will bills on top of my rent but £450pm seems reasonable with council tax included and I assume I'll only need to focus on electric, water, internet, contents insurance, food? After paying for my Car insurance and phone contract I probably have about £1000 left per month (this is exclusive of what I currently pay to my parents obviously, I don't actually have this money to spend every month at the moment).

3) Should I just try to go into Uni and get out of the house that way? The only issue with that though is I don't definitely know what I want to do yet, I don't know where I'd move, I don't want to be in tons of debt, I don't want to quit work fully etc etc. Whereas renting I could try it for 6 months and go back home if we'd got a bigger house by then.

4) My girlfriend stays a lot and isn't enjoying being at home either. She has a pants job doing like 2 hours a day in a chippy and I would bet my life on her wanting to move in if I got my own place (even if it would mean relocating 90 miles). If landlords are renting out a 1 bedroom annex, would they normally expect 1 tenant or are they usually fairly flexible on couples? I assume this will be specific to the landlord and property but just wanted to know from past experiences if they generally allow couples? And if the prices stay the same, etc.

5) My final question, I understand that I'm 19 (20 in July) and that landlords probably aren't keen to let to someone so young so will probably ask for guarantor or something but are they generally interested in me explaining my lifestyle to them when I view the property? Like if I tell them my days are mainly occupied by work and I'm not one to go out all the time or have loud music on or have many people over. The only problem I can see is my best friend will probably be round all the time and he drives a lowered VW Lupo with a stupid exhaust on it! Or am I imagining it being like living at home? I assume being in the property next to your landlord can make it quite awkward at times, especially as it's down a very quiet lane with very nice houses!

Thanks guys, sorry for the rant, just didn't to explain it without the backstory so it's not just a "Im 19 and wanna move out" question. I'm genuinely giving this a lot of thought and wondering whether it's the best choice to make both financially and personally. I'm in a very difficult position at the moment and quite frankly I'd love to be free of it. Feel free to answers any of the points individually if you can't assist with all of them. Any help would be much appreciated Also if there's any other advice that isn't in my questions I'd be very grateful!

Thanks

 

[DeadEyeDuk]

I wasn't going to respond because I think i'd be about as much use as a chocolate fireguard, but i'm bored at work, so I will anyway

Its a tough decision Grimez, especially at your age and in the current economic environment. Uni is indeed most young people's first experience of "moving out" and can be really beneficial that way.

I think the key to moving out and being independent is having a good stable job and being somewhere you actually want to be.

I give you this advice as a 28 year old, self-admitted gratuitous sponger that lives rent and responsibility free at home 5 and a half years after graduating. I do have an ok job (mum would argue I should have better by now...but see sponger), but am at present essentially doing what you are thinking about now...moving out and going northwards (everywhere is north mind you), which of course entails finding another job. Not sure I will ever have as quite a cushy a job as I do now, but that's not my number one consideration at present.

One final note that I noticed while typing re: landlords and your age. As I understand it, even into your 20s, some landlords require a parental guarantor to cover you in case of expense for example. Its just them covering themselves for a relative unknown entity (you) that is not likely to have had much of a stamp on the world to this point. Just food for thought, but sounds like that won't be a problem with your olds

No, not an in depth helpful post full of answers, but hope you get more below here that does go some way to help you make as informed a decision as possible!

DED

 

[Niem]

"I think the key to moving out and being independent is having a good stable job and being somewhere you actually want to be."

Totally agree with this. I'm 21 and still living at home. I pay towards bills etc and I think my parents are grateful for that. My predicament is that I would love to move out and i have a decent monthly wage but I don't earn enough at the moment to be as independent as I want to be. I know that I'd struggle to be in a comfortable situation after rent and other bills as well as the daily essentials. A lot of my friends/people I know have had to move back home because they have realised that managing money and living independently isn't as ideal as it used to be, especially in the current economic situation.
Just need to work out if that's really what you want at the moment, that you'd manage ok and of course you like where you are going to be living, that of course is also important

 

[Rakk]

1) Would you recommend renting at the age of 19? Is it going to limit my opportunities for the future due to not being able to save effectively? A guy I work with is 30 and he lived at home till he was 28 and managed to save £40k for a deposit and now has a nice 3 bedroom house, married, BMW, etc. I feel if I rent somewhere I might be reducing my chances of being a homeowner in future (although from what I've read online, being a homeowner seems to be becoming less popular even out of choice).

It took me a long time time to actually buy my house (I eventually got one in October last year) but that was more due to the fact that whenever I was feeling safe and secure in my job and started looking and stuff I got made redundant - so that slowed it down an awful lot (getting made redundant 3 times in the space of about 6-7 years does not help with house buying, kinda screws with your head as well) . But I managed to save up a hefty deposit whilst renting but then I hate spending money at all.
And just think, do you really want to be that guy that lives with his parents at the age of 30+, just think of Howard in 'The Big Bang Theory'

2) What should I really be budgeting for? I'm fairly good with my money and know that there will bills on top of my rent but £450pm seems reasonable with council tax included and I assume I'll only need to focus on electric, water, internet, contents insurance, food? After paying for my Car insurance and phone contract I probably have about £1000 left per month (this is exclusive of what I currently pay to my parents obviously, I don't actually have this money to spend every month at the moment).

Electric, water, internet, contents insurance, food - yes, these are the main things (and gas if there is central heating/gas cooker), remember also is this place you are looking at unfurnished or furnished, if unfurnished you'll need furniture unless you want to sit, sleep and eat on the floor - noting that most unfurnished places do have some of the kitchen white goods and almost always have a cooker.
Also remember the annoying things like TV license.

3) Should I just try to go into Uni and get out of the house that way? The only issue with that though is I don't definitely know what I want to do yet, I don't know where I'd move, I don't want to be in tons of debt, I don't want to quit work fully etc etc. Whereas renting I could try it for 6 months and go back home if we'd got a bigger house by then.

Do not choose to go to Uni just to get out of the house.
If you know that you definitely want to go to uni and definitely know which course you want and which uni's you want to go to, thats fine, but don't go just to get you out of the house.

4) My girlfriend stays a lot and isn't enjoying being at home either. She has a pants job doing like 2 hours a day in a chippy and I would bet my life on her wanting to move in if I got my own place (even if it would mean relocating 90 miles). If landlords are renting out a 1 bedroom annex, would they normally expect 1 tenant or are they usually fairly flexible on couples? I assume this will be specific to the landlord and property but just wanted to know from past experiences if they generally allow couples? And if the prices stay the same, etc.

It's really upto the landlord whether they charge more if there's more than one person, I suspect the vast majority don't, they just want the amount thats advertised and dont mind if theres one or two people, but some may use it as a way to get extra cash, you'd have to check up on it, but I suspect a lot of couples get one bedroom places

5) My final question, I understand that I'm 19 (20 in July) and that landlords probably aren't keen to let to someone so young so will probably ask for guarantor or something but are they generally interested in me explaining my lifestyle to them when I view the property? Like if I tell them my days are mainly occupied by work and I'm not one to go out all the time or have loud music on or have many people over. The only problem I can see is my best friend will probably be round all the time and he drives a lowered VW Lupo with a stupid exhaust on it! Or am I imagining it being like living at home? I assume being in the property next to your landlord can make it quite awkward at times, especially as it's down a very quiet lane with very nice houses!

As long as you can prove you can pay the rent age shouldn't really be an issue, I started renting when I was about 22 (ie. just after uni), I was renting with friends (it tends to be cheaper when you can split the bills) - though admittedly things may have changed since then

 

[Scotch]

Hello

I thought i would post my view even out of all comments i'm the least reliable and one to seek answers from.
I did alot of esearch recently into housing etc. I wanted to move out of my house for the main reason of living closer to work. I'm 18 with an apprenticeship for Accountancy Technician. I looked into everything Rent, Utitlty bills, Licences, Food, Clothing, Council Tax, furnishing etc. It's a depressing prospect, there were a few things where you can rent a furnished house, flat apartments, then matters on location to the pricing of it.

Then take into consideration of your wage see how much you have after all bills, then what you going to spend on food, then the left over if its worth it or not.

I myself earn £3 or just under an hour and work 36hours aweek so i earn less than 1 months rent but lucky enough i live in some random peoples home and rent the bedroom out mon-fri to go to work. So i took this option of moving out but they are many other ways to get out but at different expenses

 

[sted]

I didn't read your whole post due to the size of it, I am a lengthy read dodger in any case! With some exceptions, mind.

Anyway, on to the point of my post, to answer your title. Moving in general is a huge step. Moving out from your parents is no different in terms of how stressful it can be aswell as other things. Personally? Stay home as long as you can (assuming you can bear it). And I'll tell you why (actually it's quite linked to do with Lorkems point above), I'll start by saying that if you do want to move out, take into consideration the stresses involved, whether you'll be living alone or with anyone else, it doesn't matter which of them it is in general.

You should feel you are prepared and able to take on the things that will no doubt be thrown your way, such as the paying of bills, weekly shopping and even clothes shopping. As soon as you get your own place, things just got to a whole new level of tough. Are you good at dealing with stress and pressure too? If so, they are two major and I do mean major factors in successfully living independently as opposed to with your parents. I wouldn't advise many people at all to live alone, especially in the current time with who is in charge of the UK (Auto-correct initially changed UK to Audi o.o - if its offering, ill no doubt accept!) for that matter, but I'll get to that a bit more later in my post.

If anything one of the biggest things you should consider when taking on a huge life changing thing such as moving out is your financial income, if you're already on a relatively small and not very rewarding income then you'll find me highly recommending you reconsider your options. You may move, start off well, keeping up with bills, able to make sure you've got food on the table every night and even clothe your self with new things to what you feel is an adequate amount. But often, even if the start is good initially, it's not unheard of and actually quite often people begin at some point to start falling behind with bills. You fall behind with those and other things quickly follow, including being able to provide yourself with a comfortable enough life to not have to worry about if you're going to be ale to eat each day.

I'm speaking from experience with some of this, but only to a degree. It is by no means pleasant having to rough your way through life, independently or otherwise while living alone or even with a partner or friend. You'll have to take on the possibility of going hungry at times, where in The past you didn't have to worry about it so much, probably.

Not being able to pay for gas and/or electricity is a terrible thing in most cases, if not all. If you don't have one, the other is almost useless for various reasons. Having to worry about that and even where your next meal is coming from is nothing less than horrible and can often induce a feeling of hopelessness in many, it's not an ideal way of life and no one should have to live this way or otherwise go without basic necessities, sadly people still do even in this day and age.

So my point is, if you feel the absolute need to move and live more independently then atleast try to make sure you have a stable job with a good income for the reasons above, but also it isn't restricted to just those things, there are other things they make it hard to live independently separate of financial stability.

And on to my next point which is what I mentioned earlier about the current supposed 'leader'. At this point of time with him in power, he's actually taking action that encourages people to either stay living with their parents or even going as far as moving back in with them, if this is what he intends I don't know, but that's irrelevant to what I'm getting at so I'll get back to it. There are a number of reasons why this is the case, the one that most comes to mind though affects people in council houses with more bedrooms as opposed to a flat with just one, if you privately rent or happen to be able to buy your new home then this doesn't affect you. Well I could be wrong about the private renting, but the latter is deffinite.

Right so, the one I was saying comes to mind is the bedroom tax, one of their many ridiculous taxes as a shameless way for them to become richer and make the already poor, more underprivileged than they may have been before such a ridiculous thing came/comes in to action.

The thing behind that is if you have a spare unused bedroom, you get charged extra on top of the current rent for it. There are even some instances where you still get charged, even if it is getting used, due to certain outrageous current laws.

There are other things that make living independently a lot less appealing and generally not worth it than just that, but I can't remember exact specifics at the time being.

So, by staying home, your are at an advantage. In most cases, you're getting some form of income and so are who ever else, old enough in your household. Not only can things be split between house members, like maintaining the house and whatever else but also paying toward bills, food and other things the whole household will have to worry about in general. So you're effectively reducing stress on that front, because you are being supported at the same time as supporting the others in return.

Personally, the way I see it, you'll have more money for yourself by living at home as opposed to a more independent lifestyle, because you only pay a fraction of what you would for an independent life as the burden is shared between multiple people and ideally a positive impact on your present and future living conditions. It still has its flaws, by any means, this is no true solution to living a perfect life at any Rate and it certainly has some holes, such as general stresses of any family arguments that may or may not go on.

The whole point to this post is not to deter or otherwise intended to scare you out of moving forward in any way in your life, I'm just trying to provide to you the harsh reality behind the matter we are discussing and hopefully aid in you making the right decision for yourself and hopefully a positive one at that. So in a small more basic summary, living at home far outweighs living independently in terms of positives vs negatives.

I just mostly am trying to show you the consequences and sheer gravity behind the whole thing and I hope this helps you a great deal as intended.

But there is one more thing you'll no doubt want to consider. Say you for some reason move and it turns out you end up having trouble in keeping things afloat, could you handle the possible lack of Internet, online gaming or even no gaming at all?

If you do infact have what you consider a stable job and a nice income, then you have the advantage in leaving home, otherwise it's not the best of ideas at the present.

In the end it's entirely your decision, I just hope you make the best decision for you and are able to maintain as painless a life as possible, as far as bills etc..

And yes I'd do realise the irony behind my want to not read a long post and the fact I replied with an even longer one.. xD sorry if it's a pain to read.

 

[DeadEyeDuk]

(I am aware you acknowledged it at the end of the post Sted, but as soon as I scrolled down, this was my immediate though, so posted it anyway )

 

[sted]

I know, its a curse I need saving from.

 

[RS2OOO]

I'm only replying to OP's post because it reminds me of my situation...... 15 Years ago!

When I was 15 my mum and dad lost their business in recession, split up and ended up homeless.

Council put me, my mum and younger brother on a very rough council estate. Being woken up at 3am with one of your neighbour's flats on fire, or cars on fire right outside my bedroom window was par for the norm. I even got held up at knife point walking to the local shop at 5pm one evening.

I absolutely hated it and as an apprentice earning £35 a Week there was nothing I could do. I was also in similar situation with girlfriend who was too frightened to visit the estate, and when she did come over we had no privacy.

So that's a picture of my motivation to move out.

I worked 12 hours a day, 7 days a Week every Week with no holidays from the age of 16 up until 22. In the latter 2 Years I was earning enough to save £750 to £1000 per Month which added up to a nice deposit for a flat. (2 bed flats were around £80k at the time).

One thing you need to remember is, you may well split up with your girlfriend by the time you settle down, and if you do settle down together in your own place, you might get sick of eachother, or, with your new found freedom you might want to "shop around" a bit (as I did). I split up with mine around 6 Months before I bought my first place.

Walking into an estate agents at 22 to buy a place was a great feeling, and that is when my life changed.

I bought my place, moved in, it was the best feeling in the world. Whats more, the mortgage company offered more than I expected, so rather than get a bigger place (which I should have done in hindsight), I just reduced the deposit I put down and bought a used BMW M3 for around £8000

From then on, I reduced my work down to an average 5.5 days per Week, worked hard and played hard.

The following 5 years were the best 5 years of my life..... the best memories ever, out on the pull every Weekend, dating a string of girls, going on my first holiday abroad.... etc etc.

So, looking back, would I have been better off moving out at 19 and renting? NO Way.... as much as I wanted to at the time.

Moving out at 22 was perfect, and the value of my flat has more than doubled in the 14 years since.

I'm settled down with kids etc now and my missus moved in to mine straight from her parents. But before her I dated girls who also had their own flats and if we'd talked about selling up and buying one big house, or, moving into one of our flats and renting the other out..... that would have been the best way forward financially.

In conclusion, my advice based on my experience would be to work damn hard, save hard, and within 3 years you'll be in a better position than what you'll probably be in if you moved out and rented somewhere now. The time will soon go.

 

[Grimezy]

Thanks for all your help so far guys. You've all been really helpful! Especially Sted's post which must have missed the point about home being too stressful at the moment due to family issues and sharing a room with a poorly 28 year old brother but it was the thought that counted!

And Stelew you've given me a bit of a reality check, this is what I was worried about with renting, I feel like I'm not going to be able to save for things later in life that I may regret later on and I know in my mind that staying and saving will be the better choice. As you can imagine at the moment I just feel like escaping, even if it's only for 6 months or so while things get sorted at home.

Thanks again for all your help guys and if anybody else has anything to add I'll gladly take it on board I'm gonna keep having a think about it, maybe view the potential property to get a feel for it and see how I feel then. I know that I'd miss the home comforts and having money in abundance, I just feel so burnt out at the moment that I'm not enjoying those anyway. Life is stupid.

 

[sted]

Ah yes, one of the many flaws of me not often taking my time to read long posts... :/

I had a feeling home stresses and the like may have been a large factor in your situation and disposition, but atleast I got to get that off my chest while exercising my typing and brain but also maybe giving others who see this a chance to see things how I explain in that post, should they need the advice.

 

[Wolvo7]

Heya, to add to the discussion I'm in a slightly different position due to the fact that my parents are willing to support me financially till I graduate. However I've been renting flats since I was 17 (I'm 22) for uni and still have 2 years to go (yeah long studies).
It can be surprisingly satisfying to live on your own as you're fully responsible of taking care of the everyday chores and no one's going to be behind you to remind you to do it, so it does build up your sense of responsibility.

I think it really depends if the job you have now is likely to improve in the coming years and if the salary will be significantly better. I would always recommend going to uni but with the new tuition fees I realize that will put off many potential students. Every landlord has asked me for a guarantor (my parents) so I don't think you'll be able to avoid this one. I've never had a landlord ask me about my lifestyle, it's not really any of their business.
As for renting to couples there shouldn't be any problem. You would be taking a joint tenancy most likely.

if you do want to move out, just consider carefully what you will have to pay in addition to what you're paying at home and decide if the money you have left at the end is enough. I personally couldn't live at home anymore my parents come and visit quite often and vice-versa but I do find I miss my flat if I spend too long at home for the holidays for example.