ubuysa
The BSOD Doctor
But not until he's had 17 cups of coffee......
One-liners
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SpyderTracks
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QWERTY as well, that’s an old classic
ubuysa
The BSOD Doctor
Did you get any tips?
Salmon Fisher
Enthusiast
Me: What do you know about atoms?
Friend : Very Little.
Me: Besides that.
Friend : Very Little.
Me: Besides that.
HomerJ
Author Level
I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from microsoft tech support. This is how it went:
"Hello sir, how are you today?"
"I'm very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And, more to the point, WHO are you?"
"Sir, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft".
"Microsoft, eh? Is that a city? How's the weather there today?"
" No, sir - MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer and -"
"REALLY?? Well, that's quite concerning......"
"Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed, but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you. Now, if you -"
"No, I meant it's very concerning because you see I don't HAVE a computer".
"You don't?"
"I don't".
"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir -"
"Don't have one".
"Ipad?"
"Nope".
"Tablet?"
"Nope, I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone".
After a few seconds of silence he said "Ah, sir, you are lying to me now!"
I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.
"Hello sir, how are you today?"
"I'm very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And, more to the point, WHO are you?"
"Sir, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft".
"Microsoft, eh? Is that a city? How's the weather there today?"
" No, sir - MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer and -"
"REALLY?? Well, that's quite concerning......"
"Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed, but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you. Now, if you -"
"No, I meant it's very concerning because you see I don't HAVE a computer".
"You don't?"
"I don't".
"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir -"
"Don't have one".
"Ipad?"
"Nope".
"Tablet?"
"Nope, I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone".
After a few seconds of silence he said "Ah, sir, you are lying to me now!"
I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.
ubuysa
The BSOD Doctor
Back in the days when these kind of nusiance calls were usually form double glazing companies, and knowing that they had a script to deal with every anticipated excuse from the homeowner, I had a brilliant wheeze that worked a treat. When they called I would thank them for calling but explain that my home had no windows. That (I knew) wan't on their script and so in the pause that followed I thanked them for calling and put the phone down.
HomerJ
Author Level
Martinr36
MOST VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
I used to have a similar one when folk used to call my parents place trying to sell cavity wall insulation (we lived in a 1920's single skin detached), I used to let them spout all their sales talk, and when they had finished and asked if they thought dad might be interested, I would say maybe if you can find the cavity to fill............