D
Deleted member 41971
Guest
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.
One-liners
- Thread starter AgentCooper
- Start date
D
Deleted member 41971
Guest
"Today is Billy’s 8th birthday. To celebrate, he and his dad went to McDonalds for dinner. When they arrived, they waited in line behind a large, fat man.
Billy, not being knowledgeable about social norms, says to his dad, “Look daddy! That man’s sooooo fat! Look at him!”
Billy’s dad tells him that what he said was very rude, and if he said anything similar then they would go home. The fat man doesn’t notice, and continues waiting in line.
Suddenly, the phone in the fat man’s pocket starts beeping. Billy, now suddenly very scared, walks to the side. When Billy’s dad asks him what he’s doing, Billy says:
“Look out dad, he’s backing up!”
Billy, not being knowledgeable about social norms, says to his dad, “Look daddy! That man’s sooooo fat! Look at him!”
Billy’s dad tells him that what he said was very rude, and if he said anything similar then they would go home. The fat man doesn’t notice, and continues waiting in line.
Suddenly, the phone in the fat man’s pocket starts beeping. Billy, now suddenly very scared, walks to the side. When Billy’s dad asks him what he’s doing, Billy says:
“Look out dad, he’s backing up!”
D
Deleted member 41971
Guest
"In space, two aliens are talking to each other.
The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."
The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Don’t know if you lot have heard, but the guy who invented predictive text died last night. His funfair is next monkey.
Martinr36
MOST VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
you're out of Ctrl
NoddyPirate
Grand Master
There’s no Esc!
We’ve been down this track before, don’t let it return 😜
NoddyPirate
Grand Master
This thread is quickly becoming a waste of “ “.
NoddyPirate
Grand Master
I think we all need F1.
D
Deleted member 41971
Guest
they easily replaced you as they had enough Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V keys,
what has happened to my life
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem 😜they easily replaced you as they had enough Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V keys,
what has happened to my life
Now let’s all go home because we need to put an end to the keyboard jokes 👍
Martinr36
MOST VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
well you're a bundle of Fn!
NoddyPirate
Grand Master
I agree - let’s CTRL-X it out.
(It’s hard to read my screen in the sun - I tried to find some way to shield my eyes but Caps Lock was on)
Martinr36
MOST VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
did you get your PC from Del boy
NoddyPirate
Grand Master
I just laughed out loud at my own joke - I think that means I’m weird. 😱 But in fairness I hadn’t heard it before.....
D
Deleted member 41971
Guest
I decided to take the really big key off my keyboard and throw it away. It’s a waste of space.
We’ll we’ll we’ll, if it isn’t my old friend autocorrect.